The true story behind how I got a Pee-wee Herman Chia Pet

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The Pee-wee Herman Chia Pet

A year ago, for Christmas, my longtime friend Cassandra Peterson AKA Elvira Mistress of the Dark, gave me her Elvira Chia Pet. I was immediately extremely jealous. As my envy grew, I started looking on the box for a way to contact the company. I broadened my search to the internet and found a phone number! When I phoned, I heard a message that said my call was being routed to someone in the Chia department and then it rang a few times, then gave me the option of leaving a message. Here’s the message I left: “Hello. My name is Pee-wee Herman. My friend Elvira just gave me her Chia Pet for Christmas and I’m so jealous that I’m calling to find out who to talk with about how I could get a Pee-wee Chia Pet. It’s really me, honest. I know Elvira’s real name, Cassandra Peterson, and her manager, Mr M*****. Please let me know who could help me get a Pee-wee Chia Pet. My number is ***-***-****. I’ll be waiting by the phone. Thank you.”

As soon as I hung up I realized I should have left a different, less crazy message but it was too late. I waited a couple of days, all the while thinking a friend would inevitably be sending me a link to my message being posted on the internet. Instead, 3 days after leaving the message, SOMEONE FROM THE CHIA PET COMPANY CALLED ME! A very nice woman told me, “Pee-wee, you can absolutely have a Chia Pet! In fact, we’d like to work with you on producing a whole line of Pee-wee products if you’d be interested.”

Well, the first product in my EXTENSIVE NEW LINE OF PEE-WEE MERCHANDISE is here. Guess what it is?! Wow—good guess!! THE PEE-WEE HERMAN CHIA PET is available NOW!!

I am almost sure you’re thinking right now about how you lived without it! Well, you don’t have to ponder that any longer!!!!! Buy 2 or more and get no discount at all! Same deal if you buy 10! These things won’t last forever unless you’re into buying a ‘used’ one.

BTW, the photo on the box really doesn’t the product justice. When I took out the first one it was like looking in the mirror!

I’m going to set up the Pee-wee Chia Pet and put it on the windowsill with my two other friends who have Chia Pets—Elvira and David Hasselhoff.